Radical Lifestyle Change

Radical change does not mean only a transition from a student to working life. If may also mean a major transformation of lifestyle. For me this has meant making my life as non-materialistic as possible. Escape from capitalism? Not quite. Rather, an attempt to revise what I want and what I actually need in my life.

As a student, I was very lucky to get a statutory student grant and a low-interest loan. This is something that maybe 95% of all the students in this world will never get. Even when living in dead expensive London, I sometimes had money for some treats. Quite often, a "treat" would mean something like a new mascara, a new lip gloss, a new bottle of fragrance, another make up brush into my big collection, one more eye shadow (despite already having hundreds) and so on. With a Boots or Superdrug at every street corner, it was dead easy to find a treat. I would always have a spare fiver for that gorgeous new lip gloss.

It used to be that once one starts working and earning money, the standards of living would go up, up, up, one would rush to get a mortgage, buy a new car, book a luxury holiday to the Carribbean... But now, during the golden age of (unpaid) internships, nothing is that simple. I am currently and EVS volunteer and wrhile I do get a small allowance, I can only dream about the same (modest) living standards I used to enjoy whilst studying in London. Life is all but cheap in Pristina. I just bought some cans of chopped tomatoes for 70 cents each, whilst in London I never paid more than 35 pence. I bought some red kidney beans for goulash with each tin costing me 90 cents. Again, I miss the British price of 30 pence... Sounds like a small difference but when the same goes to all groceries, my food bill is significantly higher than it would have been in the UK.

While the foodstuffs are quite essential for living, something else is not: the cosmetics. Ok, I admit it, I am suffering from terrible rash and need some cream for it. Even that cream, whatever the brand, costs twice or three times as much as in the UK. Even worse if it was a luxury brand like something that is sold in a department store.

Here is my radical change illustrated by a Polyvore set:

Bye bye! 

Bye Bye by elza-finkinja featuring Elemis

Hello and welcome!

Hello and Welcome by elza-finkinja featuring a nail polish

There are a few good reasons to give up the stuff in the set two and rather use whatever is in the set two. First of all, things in the first set are rarely available in Kosovo and even if they are, they are either 1) counterfeits or 2) dead, dead expensive. Secondly, why do I actually need the products at the first set? I still haven't come across a scientifically conducted study that proves that expensive cosmetics are more beneficial than the cheaper ones. Moreover, I like some of the things in the second set because they can be used in so many ways. For example, that baby cream in the pink bottle, it works as a cleanser, facial lotion, eye cream, body lotion, even as a hair conditioner! Nivea Creme is a classic, and for a good reason, it is helping with my rash. Sales assistants at the cosmetics counters will hate me now... By the way, those baby wipes are absolutely essential when you live without 24 hour water. A good way to get rid of makeup when you are late at home... Here, late means later than 21:30 when the water is cut off.

Final cliche: I hope that by revising my consumption habits now, I will never again return to the old habit of wasting money to expensive stuff that does not work. I wish I will remember this once I live again in a place like London where there is no escape from capitalism, not even in the hippiest place one can guess.

Carried away by Serbian culture and history

Imagine you are very, very interested in something: in French fashion, in mammals of the Gobi desert, in Ecuadorian dressmaking... Usually, our subjects of interest spark a lot of dreams. For example, as a child when I was carried away by American history, particularly by the Colonial period, I kept on dreaming of visiting again the USA, the country where I was born, the country with so great history... This dream is still waiting to become true. Probably the reason I still have not made this forgotten dream come true is because later in my life, I turned my eyes towards Russia and Eastern Europe. A few years ago, I got fascinated by the Balkan region as "that's where so many crises have begun, that's where people hate each other so much, I want to know why!" The rest is history (sorry for a cliche).

During the past several years, I have spent some time studying the history and culture of the Serb nation. But so far, I have been stuck to studying the post-Assassination of Franz Ferdinand era. While this period is definitely interesting (not least because of the huge legacy it has left to all of us), I've got a lot more to learn: Serbs are believed to be one of the oldest nations in Europe with a history of a thousand years. No wonder that since my arrival to The Colony aka Kosovo and Metohija (as the Serbs call the region), I have been carried away by my interest in the Serbs. This time, I don't have to dream: living in the cradle of the Serb nation, I am in the perfect place to "practice" my interest almost whenever I want. All I have to do is to be patient enough to wait for the next bus... 

Currently, I am manifesting my fascination in the Serb nation two ways: by photography and by collecting oral histories of ordinary people. I have already visited quite a few historical Serbian sites across Kosovo, but there are still dozens, maybe hundreds of places waiting for my visit. My aim is to capture at least one photo of every single Serb site, whether historical or not. Because the Serb nation is largely identified through their religion, Orthodox Christianity, majority of my photographs will be of religious buildings and monuments including churches, monasteries and cemeteries. Here are some of my photos, for more, pleas click here to visit my Flickr account.

Church of St Demetrius (or "The Gingerbread Church") at Kosovska Mitrovica.

Ancient hatreds of the Balkans: destroyed tombstone at the south side of Mitrovica.

Ancient hatreds continued: the remains of the Church of St Nicholas at Prizren. Like the
tombstone above, this church was destroyed during the Kosovo riots of March 2004.

A landmark site: Gracanica Monastery

Some of the remains of the medieval Monastery of the Holy Archangels, located at Prizren.

My adventures sometimes get dangerous. But luckily I've got the Mother of the God and
 Holy Michael the Archangel watching over me :)

Establishing a routine

As an anthropologist, I am well aware how most people are seeking "normality" in their lives. Like with many other abstract terms, there is no way to establish an universal definition for "normality": each of us has their own definition what "normality" means, and this meaning is heavily influenced by personal, social and cultural preferences. But what does "normality" mean for me? When can I say I have "adapted" into a new environment to such an extent that I have achieved "normality" in my life? These are very urgent questions considering how often I change the place (and the country and the cultural surroundings).

For certain, the magic word of my normality is routine. Usually, it takes a while to establish a routine in a new place. When I was in Albania from November to early February, I did not have many things to do and as a result, I really struggled to get into a routine with anything. In contrast, here in The Colony aka Kosovo, I have more than enough things to do; now, having spent here six weeks or so, I can finally say I have established "kind of" a routine. Consequently, I am also able to say I have achieved a state of "normality" in the new situation of life. Unsurprisingly, my advise for others struggling with adaptation or a cultural shock is nothing but the good old 1) keep yourself busy, busy, busy and 2) establish and follow a routine. 

Of course, following a strict routine is difficult, sometimes impossible. A few years ago, I would hardly allow myself to defy from the daily routine: "No, I can't come to the pub now, it's Saturday and I must apply my weekly hair mask!" This kind of behaviour would surely destroy social relationships especially, as my local acquaintance put it, "We are in the Balkans and we don't have plans!" However, routine and spontaneous behaviour don't have to be seen as mutually exclusive. For example, I may decide to go for a trip during the weekend; but to where and with whom, I will let open. Also, I don't recommend making travel itineraries; better to allow a lot of flexibility. This is a bit of a cliche but here in the Balkans, you exchange a few sentences with a local and get invited to their house for a coffee (no, not always in the romantic sense...)

By the way, I have one weak point when it goes to establishing a routine: fitting the weekly exercise into my timetable. In other words, regular exercise is an indicator that I am finally achieving routine and normality. Since I am still refusing to join the gym, I¨m off for a run to my own outdoor gym, the Arberia Park (and the hundred or so stairs leading there).

After almost four weeks

It's been almost four weeks since I left Tirana for Pristina. All I can say is I have had absolutely great time in Pristina, the beautiful capital city of The Colony aka Republic of Kosovo. I want to say a big Thank You for the amazing people at Balkan Sunflowers for allowing me to come here and work for your fabulous organization. A good start - a good finish (or that's what I hope most!)

My time in Pristina has truly brought a radical change in my life: for the first time in many, many years I am waking up at seven in the morning to start working at half past eight. Come on, we all know how it is to be a student at a university with 24/7 library, how upsetting is that for almost anyone's sleeping patterns... Me no more a student, me no more allowed to sleep til midday. Almost every morning starts with a cup of coffee, usually Turkish coffee:

Enjoying the morning coffee at Ma Belle.

As usual, when moving into a new country, life will not be all about work, but also about adventures. So far I have visited quite a few places around The Colony, for example:

Just off Pristina is Gazimestan, the monument commemorating the Battle of
Kosovo that occurred back in 1389. The site is heavily guarded, which reveals
a lot about the extremely unstable security situation in The Colony.

Kosovska Mitrovica, a city infamous for being strictly divided into the Serb
North and Albanian South. In the picture there is the most famous landmark
of Mitrovica, St. Demetrius Church.

Mountains around the city of Pejë (or Pec) near the border of Montenegro.

Prizren, an old Ottoman city in Southern Kosovo. Kind of "Small Sarajevo",
do you agree?

For more photographs of The Colony and other places around the Balkans, please click the link below to visit my new Flickr account:

Elza Ivanovic "Finkinja"

Greetings from The Colony aka Kosovo

Roughly one week ago, I started a new phase in my life: I enrolled as an EVS (European Voluntary Services) participant to the Balkan Sunflowers an award-winning non-governmental organization based in Pristina, The Colony aka Kosovo. Those not so aware about this region might wonder why I call this country "The Colony". Just sit for a coffee and look out of the window: I swear you will see at least a couple of EULEX SUVs speeding on the streets and KFOR guys from various countries patrolling around. In every street corner, there is an office belonging to one of the many branches of EU, UN, NATO, EC, CoE, OSCE... During my time in Tirana, it was extremely rare to hear English in any public place; here, you cannot sit in a restaurant or coffee shop without hearing the conversations of some American wannabe world-saviours. Perhaps the fragile independence of The Colony is best exemplified by their flag (image courtesy to Wikipedia.org:

What does this resemble to you?

A perfect flag to illustrate the situation (image courtesy to Uncyclopedia.wikia.com. I could never have believed that I would use Uncyclopedia as a source in two subsequent blog postings!)

The Colony of the USA, Albania and Serbia. Only one thing is missing but nevermind,
it is already included in the "national flag" above.

Anyway: as I have said many times before, in order to become a professional world savior, I must be prepared to go through dozens and dozens of internships, voluntary placements, work trials... At worst case, one is offered an internship in a prestigious UN office at London, but with absolutely no pay, no even reimbursement for a small cup of disgusting filter coffee. Luckily, my situation is not so bad. I am grateful that being an EVS volunteer, I get food and accommodation paid, and on the top of that, I even get some pocket money! Yay! 

Yet, perhaps the best thing in my volunteering placement with the Balkan Sunflowers is the opportunity to apply my passion for social research. Even better, what I am currently conducting is basically action research, i.e. research for policy and advocacy purposes. As a over-enthusiastic former student of social sciences, I don't mind conducting research on topics such as A critical appraisal to the currently prevalent epistemology of intersectionalities among the post-positivist feminist approach to recuperation and reconciliation in a South-West Herzegovinian beekeeper community. However, as I wrote before, while aforementioned kind of research is always fun to do, we may have do wait for a while (a few decades...) before these findings will reach the big masses and the policymakers. 

Currently, I am involved in a couple of research projects canvassing the health and educational needs of the Romani, Ashkali and Egyptian communities of The Colony. While life in The Colony is hard for everyone (except for politicians, war profiteers and oligharcs), life is especially hard for the peoples of these three marginalized and discriminated communities. I hope that with our forthcoming research findings will be helpful towards achieving a small but remarkable step in the process of integrating the Roma, Ashkali and Egyptian communities in the wider society of The Colony. This is what I really like: conducting research with a purpose, with a purpose that is likely to result in concrete and visible outcomes.

I will continue this blog by writing about my experiences as an EVS volunteer in The Colony: what I'm doing, what I've achieved, how I feel about all this. Besides, I will keep on writing about my applications for jobs, for internships, for PhD positions... I'm very, very likely to write tons of them (literally). But not yet - now that I've just started this volunteering placement, I deserve a small break from "Your application was very convincing but..."

Feeling part of the team with my very own teacup!

Exchange organizations: AIESEC

As a recent graduate, I have got into the phase of life consisting mainly of internships. Probably many of you agree, entry level jobs for graduates - especially in the field of humanitarian aid and development - have almost entirely disappeared, "thanks" to the over-supply of distinction level graduates from disciplines such as politics, sociology, anthropology with law, Chinese Studies, Central and South-East African with History of the Philosophy and Aesthetics of Ethnomusicology...

There are numerous organizations providing students and recent graduates with internship opportunities abroad. One of them is called AIESEC (sorry, nobody today can remember what the acronym stands for...) AIESEC is an unique exchange organization in the sense that it has no professional, paid staff but is completely run by students and recent graduates. My recent internship in Albania was organized by the relatively newly established AIESEC branch (local committee aka LC) of the European University of Tirana (UET). Because of the old age (established in the 1940s) and high number of members (30,000 or so) I had no doubt that AIESEC is a good and reputable body for organizing internship exchanges.

Yet, back in September 2013 when doing my research AIESEC as an organization and experiences of the past internship participants, I wondered why there was so little information available on this. I managed to find some feedback but they were mostly posted in various blogs that were usually directly associated with various AIESEC LCs. I did not manage to find any feedback page on AIESEC.org nor on the websites of the numerous local AIESEC committees. However, enthusiastic about the opportunity provided by the AIESEC UET and their partner CNELL (Center for Non-Formal Education and Lifelong Learning), I decided not to worry about the feedback issue too much. I went to Albania with positive attitude, looking forward to a great Life Changing Experience (as the AIESEC motto goes). My internship was going to last three months with the possibility to extend it further should this project "New Skills 4 New Jobs" at CNELL be a success.

My initial arrival to Albania went very smoothly. I was picked up by to members of the ICX (incoming exchange team) who introduced me to the work and to the city of Tirana. Thanks to my positiveness and my previous experience of traveling around the Balkans, I did not experience much cultural shock. First I lived together with the other intern in a student dormitory but two weeks later, the ICX boys found us a nice apartment. The AIESEC leaders and organized introduced me and the intern to Tirana, and we would quickly become familiar with the city and its best offerings.

Back to my actual internship: I came to Albania in order to start my working career, in order to gain professional experience in the field of social research. However, the project "New Skills 4 New Jobs" turned out to be a complete disaster. While AIESEC UET had managed to gain interns to teach accounting and social research (me), they were still lacking trainers of graphic design and programming. Problematically, the latter two would have been the most profitable courses but in absence of the trainers, these courses were postponed. However, what was even worse, as soon as I started my internship at CNELL, I found out that 1) I would not have much work: only four hours of teaching in a week and 2) I had very few students and hence, I would be unable to carry out my proposed mini-research project. Later, I also started to run classes in academic English but there was never too much interest for this course either; after the Christmas break, I taught a couple of English classes a week and this was basically all the work I had. Not so much an opportunity to gain professional experience that I had so much wanted.

Moreover, even though AIESEC UET and CNELL finally managed to get an intern to teach graphic design, they never found anyone for programming. The revenue we collected from the ongoing courses was not enough for paying the salaries for me and the two other interns. I have already finished my internship but I am still waiting for my salary...

Because of the mess with my internship, I have became very sceptical towards the work of AIESEC. Many questions have come to my mind. For example, if AIESEC is really the largest student-run organization in the world, how come majority of my fellow students have never heard about it? As I already mentioned above, why is it so difficult to find any impartial feedback regarding the AIESEC experiences? What is the AIESEC policy on dealing with complaints and dissatisfied customers? I have paid AIESEC a comsiderable sum of money in order to participate in an internship: I have thus all rights to call myself their customer.

I appreciate the work of AIESEC UET: I am impressed to see young people working hard to fulfill the dreams and potential of themselves and the others. Hence, I don't want to be too harsh with my criticism of AIESEC. In order to improve your services and get most out of your work, I suggest AIESEC to consider certain improvements.


Firstly, my recommendations especially for AIESEC Albania:

• I know that AIESEC is very idealistic: you are working hard to increase peace, tolerance and friendliness between the nations. However, when it goes to people wanting to gain professional experience abroad, I recommend you to remove your rose colored glasses. There are not many graduates of computing science who would come to teach programming in Albania for 200 euros when at the same time, they could earn more than 5000 euros at home. In short: be realistic when considering what kind of interns you will need for your projects. 
• At this early stage of your existence, concentrate on the social internship. With these, you will not have to worry about the salaries. Also, as far as I'm concerned, social internships are more about having fun than gaining serious working experience. Hence, you would not have to worry about the participants complaining that their internship was useless for their CVs.
• Whenever you decide to have a project, make sure the project will 1) really exist and 2) the interns will have something meaningful to do. Make sure that the tasks will match the initial work description. Nothing is more frustrating than invest a lot for an internship abroad, only to find out that you end up having nothing to do. 
• Should you again proceed to do such an ambitious project as "New Skills 4 New Jobs", you should consider "training the trainers". Neither I nor my fellow interns had much teaching experience; hence, if there is something particular you would like the interns to cover in the classes, you should be prepared to provide at least some orientation to the work. For example, some AIESEC teams in China provide the interns with an opportunity to gain TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) qualifications before starting the actual teaching. 

My recommendations for AIESEC as an organization:

• Many exchange providers, for example Projects Abroad, provide online feedback forms on which each exchange participants can share their experiences. I would ask AIESEC to kindly add such a feedback page on AIESEC.org and preferably also on the sites of local committees. Any exchange partner or an AIESEC member should be able to leave a feedback. Very importantly, all feedback should be available to the public. Please do not censor or moderate the feedback unless completely inappropriate or irrelevant.
• Typically, exchange providers working across the countries will have some kind of brand standards to ensure the quality of the service. With AIESEC, this does not seem to be the case at all. For example, we can see some horror stories regarding the accommodation conditions in India. What AIESEC should do is to ensure that some minimal standards are being met especially when it goes to the character of the work. When you are providing professional internship for leadership development, you should carefully consider, whether these two aspects are fulfilled in each project.  
• Also, other exchange providers, for example European Voluntary Service (EVS) provide a detailed breakdown of all the costs a participant is paying for the organization. I paid AIESEC £350 in order to access the internship database but I have not seen any elaboration how this money is being used. No, I don't believe that AIESEC really, really has to charge such a high amount from each of the tens of thousands participants in order to maintain their website.
• I understand that AIESEC is working hard to keep the tradition of being completely run by students. Maybe this was possible at the early years of AIESEC when the number of members and exchange participants was much lower was now. However, considering that nowadays AIESEC arranges tens of thousands of internships, would be really advantageous if you could have some permanent, professional, paid staff in each location to ensure things will go as planned.
• Moreover, it is a bit exaggeration and definitely old-fashioned to call the AIESEC leaders presidents. According to AIESEC, if you are in charge of about seven people, you are a vice president. If you are in charge of twenty people, you are a president. I even came across with an AIESEC leader calling himself a CoE!

Finally, after attending a couple of AIESEC events, including the national conference in Albania, I found out that internship appear not to be the main concern of AIESEC,. Rather, the main concern is recruiting the members and practicing the "AIESEC culture." (Sorry for linking to Uncyclopedia but in this case, I think the article is a perfect description of this phenomenon...) Yes, I understand that in certain countries, AIESEC has established its place as a reputable employment agent, providing interns for large corporations such as DHL, UPS and PwC. Yet, these new and still fragile branches of AIESEC, including those in Tirana, should not try to ride on the reputation of some other old, successful and prestigious branches. That's why, what I urgently require from AIESEC as a whole, is setting up brand standards that are also vigorously enforced. This way you can best establish your place as a reputable, reliable and respectable exchange organizatoin.

After three months: some thoughts about Albania

Can't believe that almost three months has passed since my arrival to Albania. My big project here has come to an end meaning it is now time to move onward and pursue for more radical changes in my life. Now that I have spent three months here, I feel like sharing some of my thoughts about Albania and Tirana.

Only in Albania...

...one can get their daily excercise when taking the rubbish out. Actually, this is the first place where people use public rubbish bins as a landmark: "Do you know that coffee shop near the rubbish bins..."

...one can (and sometimes must) reserve a table in a COFFEE SHOP.

...I find myself buying L and XL size clothes.

...I am not the only one who likes to wear hair on a ballet bun.

...each coffee shop, restaurant and bar has their own strict rules about expressing love. While in some places mere kissing is strictly forbidden, in other, otherwise similar places one can see public foreplaying.

...waiter will run from the other end of a coffee shop/restaurant/bar to open you the door. How kind! In general, Albanian customer service personnel are extremely polite and ready to help you at all situations.

...unlike in the other Balkan countries, people of different religions are not simly coexisting but actually cohabitating with each other. I have actually met quite a few multi-religious families. Go Albania, show example to the neighbors!

...This is also the first Balkan capital where I haven't been ripped of by the taxi drivers.

As you can see, quite a few of my reflections are related to the coffee shops. I have spent hours and hours using the internet in coffee shops. I'm now quite used to drinking at least three cups of coffee every day. How on earth can I continue this lifestyle if I ever decide to return to London or some other dead expensive European city?

"Caricature of an Albanian": big, messy bun, dark purple lipstick and cat eyes.
Do you agree with my caricature? ;)

Actually, I've also got a lot to say about my job and project here. However, in order not to ruin my last day in Albania, I will write more about these experiences a bit later. Probably everyone knows that things never go exactly as planned. All I can say that rather often, nothing goes as planned. Better to remember this simple fact of life especially when pursuing for a radical change abroad.



PhD application nightmare... Again!

Ever since I first time applied to university nearly seven years ago, I was sure about one thing: I will do a PhD. In which discipline and on what subject ― I had no idea back then. I was sure that by the time I finish my undergraduate degree, I would be absolutely certain what I want to do, I would have found a perfect supervisor, established the essential contacts, etc etc

 

Now, two and half years later, I feel I have barely advanced... Paradoxically, I have completed two master's dissertations with distinction grades and yet I feel I am completely unable to write a simple PhD proposal. One reason for that is my trouble of finding an exact research topic and then stick into it... Even if I have found such a topic, I am completely stuck when it comes to the "justification" part of the proposal. Why on earth would someone grant tens of thousands of euros for research on some stupid memorial stones in remote Bosnian lands!

 

During the course of my undergraduate and postgraduate studies, I learned some essentials of social research. Everyone wants to study human trafficking but nobody knows how to get access to first hand data on the topic. Of course, we can appoach almost any topic with a postmodernist perspective. Like every student of social research, I was carried away by the writings of Foucault the God ― yet, this period did not last more than a few weeks.

 

While some postmodernist and poststststststructuralist ideas certainly make sense, the problem is: will someone outside the academia apprciate our research findings? Yes, something like Coming into term with intersectionalism in the process of constructing a homo oeconemicus among the Western research community in the orient may sound like an interesting research topic. But what would be the value added of these findings to the rest of our society? How would these research findings help to improve the everyday life of an average Joe?

 

Recently, I have been feeling like I want to do some hardcore positivist research, probably with statistical methods. Enough with constructivism, enough with critical that, critical this. This would be a truly Radical Change for someone who has dedicated (almost) an entire degree for studying qualitative methods. With all this confusion, looks like I am not going to start a PhD next autumn. Let's (again) wait for the next year...

 

I will fnish this blog entry with something less serious:

 

Radical haircut!

 

Yes, I cut about 20 cm of my hair! Quite radical, considering I haven't had this short hair for about eight years. Feels so strange when doing a braid and suddeny I've run out of hair... At least, for the first time in two years, I can feel hair instead of dry hay!